Submitted by: A Sister (United Kingdom)

Hi saints, I’m struggling a lot with independence and I find it so hard to go to people to ask for help. I know I should rely on the Body but whenever I have a problem, I trend to try to deal with it myself, mostly in my head, and it gets overwhelming sometimes. How do I get built up with companions? I think I make myself an easy target for the enemy because I spend so much time in my mind. Should I just find some companions and pray with them? I really want to ask for some fellowship but I think my pride keeps getting in the way and I refuse. Do you have any advice?

7 thoughts on “Independence

  1. I believe the question here is of spiritual consciousness of the Body life and the matter of practicing the Body life, especially in the vital groups. It may be possible to doctrinally concern ourselves with our individuality and independence, and yet find the reality of the Body of Christ as something experientially aloof and far removed from us. It is here the truth in the Word, regarding the vision and experiential reality of the Body of Christ must so dawn upon us, that the fact that we no longer are in Adam, but have been transferred into Christ through faith, to stand in grace according to God’s love to be the Body of Christ (Rom. 3:21-12:21; Eph. 2:1-4:16)becomes utterly real to us. Doctrine can only command the attention of the natural mind, but the spiritual truths of the Body life expressed through the logical framework of the doctrine of the Word (1 Cor. 14:14-15; 2 Pet. 2:2), commands the attention of our mingled spirit. It is here that the Body life was authored in our spiritual experience through our regeneration, and here also we must discover the true, experiential, even existential import of the Body life in Christ, in whom we were reconciled unto Him (Eph. 2:15-16).

    The apostle Paul’s full experience of the Lord in the Body confirms this exceedingly. To Paul the Lord at his salvation on road to Damascus, said “…Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads” (Acts 26:14), for the Lord was revealing to Paul that in spite of his unregenerate opposition towards the Lord, he could not prevent the Lord’s absolute work in gaining him for the Body of Christ in His salvation. But as Paul began to monumentally experience this all-inclusive Christ Jesus in the Body life, such that he became the standard and pattern of the Lord’s salvation of us (1 Tim. 1:16), in Ephesians 3:1 and 4:1, he affirmatively described himself, as a prisoner of the Lord, and a prisoner in the Lord, according to the Body life. In other words, Paul habitually, and experientially could not live apart from Christ in the Body, as a matter of his inner being and daily living, even in a Roman prison (Phil. 1:19-2:4; 1 Thes. 3:8).

    We must allow the Lord through His word in His ministry to reveal this to our inner man, our regenerated spirit, and thus in that process strengthen us into the inner man, in order that this reality of the Body life, in dealing with all our independence, would control and govern our daily life to live in the spirit that is practically and experientially, the Body life. Such a reality dawning upon our spirit and heart, will inspire us to allow the Spirit in our spirit, that represents the reality of the Body in our inner being, to renew our mind, so that we would not rely spontaneously on our natural, spontaneous thought in our daily living (Rom. 12:2-3; Titus 3:5; Eph. 4:22-24). This conviction of the Spirit of reality, the Spirit of Christ in our being to experientially know the divine life in the Body, will thus drive our practice of the vital groups, where we in knowing the power and reality of the Body life in spirit (Eph. 1:19-2:22) would turn from the vanity of our individuality, our independence, to seek companions in prayer spontaneously, even desperately, not as a matter of occasional recourse, but according to the very urgency in knowing that Christ our life is corporately, His life in the Body, with all the members of the Body (1 Cor. 12:4-27)!

  2. I just want to stress what brother Isaiha said: “Paul habitually, and experientially could not live apart from Christ in the Body, as a matter of his inner being and daily living, even in a Roman prison (Phil. 1:19-2:4; 1 Thes. 3:8).”
    This is the matter of Christ revealed in us, living in us, being formed in us. The sister said if she should find companion and pray together. Yes, it might be the way. Just pray of this one thing – got revealed, being enlightened of the Christ and His Body, the Body life and living. Initially such prayer might seem dry and theoretical, yet, if having some persistence and desire Lord will honor your desire and petition to answer you. (cm. Luke 11 widow).

  3. Dear sister,
    The fact that you would seek help here shows that you do not want to be independent from the Body. I have the same problem being independent. I can only speak from my own experience. The source of the problem is that I am independent from the Lord, so I am also independent from the Body. When I realize that, I pray. I need to depend on the Lord for making decisions. In fact, I want to know what the Lord wants. Eventually I feel the need to fellowship. I feel the need to pray with others. Just like what you have said, we may spend too much time in our mind thinking, but not enough time praying and fellowshipping with the Lord. When we really depend on the Lord, we automatically see that we need the Body. We cannot go on without other members of the Body. I hope my sharing can help you. May the Lord saves us from our independence! Amen.

  4. I am much like you dear sister. Very independent, private, and prideful. I did not realize this until I had several big failures. These failures brought me to the saints. These failures have ultimately brought me to realize that what The Lord wants is something corporate, the Israel of God. This is going to sound familiar but all of our experiences are for this, for the Body. There are saints who have pass through certain things and have enough Christ and can thus render the most help. Do not wait till there is a big failure, open to the saints today, because our independence could cause us to walk away from the Church. There is no doubt that we love The Lord. But to Love The Lord is to love The Church.<—–This is the goal of God's Economy.

  5. Praise the Lord! This is surely a sign of the growth in life. The fact that your conscience is even bothered by this matter shows that the Lord is shining on you. Sister, we all have been injected with the nature of independence. This is as a result of man’s fall in the garden and eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

    Our dependency on the Body is therefore a matter of the divine life. Eating, receiving Christ as our life. Our dependency on the Body flows out of our position in relation to the Head. It’s only when we are in a proper position with regards to the Head that we will have a proper position regarding the Body. It’s good to seek to fellowship in an outward manner because you know doctrinally that that’s what’s needed, in fact this step of faith can cause you to spontaneously receive the supply from the Head, but the real dependence and fellowship is an intrinsic matter which flows out of your enjoyment of Christ. In fact if you really enjoy the Lord, you will spontaneously want to be with the saints and open to the saints.

    The self is the biggest enemy of the Body. We all are growing in this my sister and we need the Lord to expose the self and deal with the self so that He can have what He desires, a builded Church, the one New Man. We need the Lord’s mercy to reveal to us the self. We need to hate the self! But praise the Lord for the all-inclusive life giving-spirit! The effectiveness of Christ’s death on the cross is available to us when we turn to our mingled spirit and call on Him. Automatically this death is applied to our self. Praise the Lord!

    So I just want to encourage you my sister, look away unto Jesus. Bring everything to the Lord. Even the matter about being built up with companions. This is done only in resurrection not in the self. Just continue to touch your spirit and to enjoy the Lord.:)

  6. Before I read any other responses, my thought was to say that I have found it to be a matter of practice. I was raised by my parents to be an independent person, and I still believe that in general that is a good human characteristic. It is also not good to be overly dependent, so there is definitely a balance. What I have found lately, more than ever, is that if I practice asking the Lord, telling Him everything, bringing everything to Him, casting all my cares on Him, then I am a lot more prone to fellowship with the saints as well. And in the fellowship with the saints, the needs of the Body are known and met. Then it is not a struggle against your independence, but simply a life of living in the Body, where dependence is a trait of the Body-life.

    This is what I enjoyed today:
    Hymn 788:
    “Go to Jesus, tell Him all.”


    1Peter 5:6 Therefore be humbled under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time,

    7 Casting all your anxiety on Him because it matters to Him concerning you.

    8 Be sober; watch. Your adversary, the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking someone to devour.

    9 Him withstand, being firm in your faith, knowing that the same sufferings are being accomplished among your brotherhood in the world.

    10 But the God of all grace, He who has called you into His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself perfect, establish, strengthen, and ground you.

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